Revise My College Essay
Theater did not come naturally to me, and I felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on stage in the eighth grade.
My best friend had talked me into auditioning for Shakespeare's Not only is the revised passage much more effective, but the author has cut 25 words.
Most college admissions essays are first-person narratives, so they are obviously written in the first person.
For this reason, the very nature of application essays raises a particular challenge: you are being asked to write about yourself, but an essay can start sounding both repetitive and narcissistic if you use the word "I" twice in every sentence. I'm not exaggerating—my parents tell me I was pushing around a soccer ball before I could walk.
You may have an amazing story to tell for your college application essay, but your writing is going to fall flat if it doesn't use an engaging and effective style.
For your essay to truly shine, you need to pay attention to not just Wordiness is by far the most common stylistic error in college admissions essays.
However, her praise is expressed almost entirely in clichés.
This combination of reliability and graciousness makes others turn to him for leadership.
My own successes in high school are due largely to my brother's example.
My later childhood was all about soccer—the community league at age 4, and participation in regional tournaments by 10.
Many applicants aren't fully comfortable writing about themselves and highlighting their accomplishments, and they've also been trained by high school teachers not to use "I" at all when writing an essay.